breaking news: Britney Spears owns a fucking washing machine
Anonymous asked: I'm at work and I'm about to cry. I don't want to cry, can you say something funny?
ONE TIME AT SCHOOL LET ME REMIND YOU I GO TO AN ALL GIRLS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL SO THEY ALL WEAR SHOIRT ASS SKIRTS OKAY SO ONE TIME THIS GIRL LIKE TRIPPED AND HER SKIRT FLEW UP AND MY FRIEND WAS LIKE TIFFANH GO FUCKING HELP HER UP AND I WAS LIKE PARALYZED STARING AT HER ASS AND THEN MY FRIEND WAS LIKE FUCKING SHIT TIFFANY YOU USELESS LESBIAN AND SHE LITERALLY HIT ME WITH A BIBLE AND I HAVE NO REGRETS NONE
This kills me every time
So guys, there’s a text post going around about how this one person will write you a very short and bad fanfic in your ask box based on the last few things you’ve reblogged, and it’s got like 120,000sth notes.
GUESS WHAT. I AM BORED AND WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU. AND IT WILL ACTUALLY GET DONE BC THIS POST DOES NOT HAVE 828737473884848 NOTES. GO GO GO I AM WAITING
omfg i hate my dad’s computer he has a fucking profanity filter i feel like i’m on goddamn neopets or something
LOOK AT THIS SHIT OH MY FUCKING GOD
Please ask your dad where he got the profanity filter at. I am going to do this to everyone’s computer. PLEASE TELL ME
None of your poo today great white