gunmetal-naturale:

ironychan:

mischievousshota:

indevan:

simonjadis:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

emeraldcharos:

wessasaurus-rex:

kikojaharo:

This is the most accurate gif of Florida I have ever seen.

 ”What the fuck?” 

She’s not even scared, she’s just mad and confused.

baby gators are basically confused sharp bunnies who wander into other people’s pools for a dip and some sunbathing and might gnaw on u. mommas are the scary ones.

confused sharp bunnies

i’d argue that you don’t even have to worry about mommas.  alligators are literally stoners.  like don’t fuck with their stuff and they’ll just chill and leave you alone.

i grew up in florida. i was riding my bike once and managed to fall over and into a swamp full of gators and they just stared at me like ‘what the fuck did you do that for?’ they are some of the calmest creatures ever.

Alligators have not evolved in two hundred million years.  They’re too lazy.

but just…
CONFUSED SHARP BUNNIES

gunmetal-naturale:

ironychan:

mischievousshota:

indevan:

simonjadis:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

emeraldcharos:

wessasaurus-rex:

kikojaharo:

This is the most accurate gif of Florida I have ever seen.

 ”What the fuck?” 

She’s not even scared, she’s just mad and confused.

baby gators are basically confused sharp bunnies who wander into other people’s pools for a dip and some sunbathing and might gnaw on u. mommas are the scary ones.

confused sharp bunnies

i’d argue that you don’t even have to worry about mommas.  alligators are literally stoners.  like don’t fuck with their stuff and they’ll just chill and leave you alone.

i grew up in florida. i was riding my bike once and managed to fall over and into a swamp full of gators and they just stared at me like ‘what the fuck did you do that for?’ they are some of the calmest creatures ever.

Alligators have not evolved in two hundred million years.  They’re too lazy.

but just…

CONFUSED SHARP BUNNIES

(via russiansheaven)

acutelesbian:

fencehopping:

Another dinner spent all baaa myself.

sometimes my family is around me while i’m on tumblr and i don’t really know how to explain to them what i’m looking at

(via leaughan)

tanpom:

if i have to text you first every single time then we aint gonna text ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(via leaughan)

fifty-shades-of-irony:

Gordon Ramsay only has two emotions

  1. I’M ONLY TRYING TO FUCKING HELP YOU SO FUCKING LISTEN!
  2. No  no shhhh I was only trying to help please don’t cry.

(Source: dave-2swaggy4u-strider, via shoutoutyourlungs)

baconmane:

theshortcake:

notallwhowanderarelost5:

ouch

This happens to my friends a lot!

holy hell i can hear the fuckin snark in my head omfg.

baconmane:

theshortcake:

notallwhowanderarelost5:

ouch

This happens to my friends a lot!

holy hell i can hear the fuckin snark in my head omfg.

(Source: donteatthecherry, via auspicious-anne)

nurmengardx:

nerdjpg:

northgang:

…the future of pizza (X)

none pizza left beef

(via coryfiddler)

(Source: chubbythecorgi, via sixpenceee)

After learning my flight was detained 4 hours,
I heard the announcement:
If anyone in the vicinity of gate 4-A understands any Arabic,
Please come to the gate immediately.

Well—one pauses these days. Gate 4-A was my own gate. I went there.
An older woman in full traditional Palestinian dress,
Just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly.
Help, said the flight service person. Talk to her. What is her
Problem? we told her the flight was going to be four hours late and she
Did this.

I put my arm around her and spoke to her haltingly.
Shu dow-a, shu- biduck habibti, stani stani schway, min fadlick,
Sho bit se-wee?

The minute she heard any words she knew—however poorly used—
She stopped crying.

She thought our flight had been canceled entirely.
She needed to be in El Paso for some major medical treatment the
Following day. I said no, no, we’re fine, you’ll get there, just late,

Who is picking you up? Let’s call him and tell him.
We called her son and I spoke with him in English.
I told him I would stay with his mother till we got on the plane and
Would ride next to her—Southwest.

She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it.

Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and
Found out of course they had ten shared friends.

Then I thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian
Poets I know and let them chat with her. This all took up about 2 hours.

She was laughing a lot by then. Telling about her life. Answering
Questions.

She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies—little powdered
Sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts—out of her bag—
And was offering them to all the women at the gate.

To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a
Sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the traveler from California,
The lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same
Powdered sugar. And smiling. There are no better cookies.

And then the airline broke out the free beverages from huge coolers—
Non-alcoholic—and the two little girls for our flight, one African
American, one Mexican American—ran around serving us all apple juice
And lemonade and they were covered with powdered sugar too.

And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—
Had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing,

With green furry leaves. Such an old country traveling tradition. Always
Carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.

And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought,
This is the world I want to live in. The shared world.

Not a single person in this gate—once the crying of confusion stopped
—has seemed apprehensive about any other person.

They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women too.
This can still happen anywhere.

Not everything is lost.

Naomi Shihab Nye (b. 1952), “Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal.” I think this poem may be making the rounds, this week, but that’s as it should be.  (via oliviacirce)

When I lose hope in the world, I remember this poem.

(via bookoisseur)

Tears.

(via hillarygayle)

(via auspicious-anne)

octobootle:

when you think your cramps are finished but then

image

(via cinderellasmissingshoe)

thetumblr-thisisatumblr:

making plans with friends like

image

(via authentically-imperfect)

FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PERSONALITY

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey



I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people

travellingcompanionstephrogers:

chafing-nipples:

modmad:

nooby-banana:

becauseimdavefuckinstrider:

jim fucking carrey

jim fucking carrey

image

I love Jim Carrey. I once met him in a 7/11, and I was getting a soda, I turned and saw it was him, and he saw I was going for a Doctor Pepper, so he said “Oh did you want one of these”, to which I stuttered out a yes and he grabbed all of them and said “too bad” and brought them up to the front. Then he bought his stuff and left the sodas there, and left. Almost immediately after, he ran back in and began putting the sodas back and paid for mine.

This is what happens when Candians are let lose and try to prank people

(via acousticheartelectricsoul)

amysfall:

we need a universal hand signal for “my parents don’t know about that”

(via authentically-imperfect)

theperksofbeinganerd16:

geekishchic:

nuuku:

turtle-ambulance:

fun fact: “nolo” is latin for “do not want” so if someone says yolo you can say nolo and they’ll think its just a stupid comeback but in all actuality you’re speaking latin which is classy as shit so haha the jokes on them

and it means “(you’re) embarrassing” in finnish so it’s double joke on them

image

The more you nolo

(Source: snickerpoodles, via auspicious-anne)